Friday, January 30, 2009

chic affairs Valentine treat price list

Valentine Price Sheet


Cupcakes $17.50 per dozen (including love bugs)
Cupcakes $10 per cupcake/for a dozen price will vary in artwork


Wild Thing Monster $25
Small Cake w/ Bow $25
Small Couple Heart Cake $25
Small Frog Cake $25
Love Bug Cake $25
Large Couples Cake
Name personalization $40
Large personalized
Face cakes $40


Cookies $20 per dozen or $2.00 per cookie
Special Message
Cookies on decorative plate $15
Cookie Bouquet $25

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Valentine Cookies by Chic Affair....

Order your cookies today!

Wonderful, Crazy Days...with some gratitude....

The past couple of days have been crazy but wonderful. I think sometimes I seem to function better on a full plate. Chic Affair is up and going and for those of you who haven't placed your orders yet for Valentine Treats...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? We have cakes, cupcakes, and cookies. Just perfect for something special for that special someone in your life. It could be your sweetheart, child, grandparents,or teachers. Dont forget nieces, nephews, classroom and office parties! Check us out at or Place your order today!

Okay, enough commercial time there. The boys have been doing okay this week. I would think it was a full moon with Bleeze. He has been so whiny. UGHH! Other than that, we are rockin!

Starting today it is full speed ahead. Chic Affair will be a vendor at Switcharoo's all next week so come out and see us! So we have cakes, cookies, and more to make before next Wednesday. Big thanks already for those of you who have offered to help me out and offered to help with my boys! So for now, I am off to homeschool so more this morning (we got a VERY EARLY START today, Eli said, "we are doing school earlier than the kids who go...LOL) Then it is full speed, baking, making, etc. LOL! Hope everyone is having a rockin week! Going to show some gratitude before I go.

So grateful for...
* God! There is not a day goes by that he doesn't totally blow my socks off. If you just sit back and look for him, he is everywhere. I am so thankful that I saw yesterday how he is working so clearly in my life. He is opening doors for me that I never thought would be open. He hears my prayers when I am so undeserving. I am humbled at HIS grace and provision for me.

* Of course for my sweet husband and boys.

* Monday night...Tommy and I did 500 crunches at 11PM. Tuesday night Tommy and I ate low fat chips and salsa at 11pm. bahhahahahahaha! Good times!

* My Southern Butter Pecan coffee creamer that I am enjoying right now.

* Peace...that only God can give!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

myspace peeps

If you are on myspace make our business your friend. It will number one help us advertise and number two we will be able to send you our awesome deals. Thanks for your support.

www. myspace. com/chicaffair

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Place your order with Chic Affair today!

Order your sweetheart a sweet treat this Valentines. You an also order personalized cupcakes for kiddos! We can customize your cupcake with monograms, names, personal interest,etc. Order classroom love bug cupcakes for your classrooms or office parties today by the dozen!

Contact us today at or

Monday, January 26, 2009

What's Up?

What's up with me? Oh my, last week seemed like a whirlwind. I was really busy. We did manage to have a really great weekend though. Friday night we went to dinner as a family. It was fun. I enjoyed some Mexican food which I haven't had in weeks. SO YUMMY! After dinner we headed to Walmart! (I have said before, I love being with my family but in Walmart, it seems to always turn into a nightmare.LOL)

Saturday was lazy day. We slept in and I worked on a cake for Shane. I really hope that he liked it. He turned the BIG 30! I was happy to make it for him! I was even happier to have dinner with them Saturday night after we went to church. We had fun at Red Robin.

Sunday morning we slept in again (love Saturday night service) LOL! Then we we visited with my mom for a bit. She is still recovering from the 2nd eye surgery. Then I cooked dinner for my mother-in-law and her friend Jeff. We had a nice time visiting with them. Tommy and I have recorded all the episodes of that show The Secret Life of an American Teenager. We stayed up later watching them trying to catch up. It's kinda stupid but very interesting how they bring God into it.

This morning it was back to the normal. Trying to get all the mom/wife duties done around here, homeschool, etc. Hoping Brandi is feeling better tomorrow. Poor thing, they have all been sick! We have tons of work to do for next week's switcharoo's! Can't wait! I also had to take my mom to the doctor this morning. She is doing some better. Still no vision but seeing some light and movement. So I am staying optimistic. I still believe in the healing power of God through his son Jesus! I had tons of fun chatting with Candy today. Just like the good old days. I am so glad to have her back in my life. God is so good!

I cooked dinner tonight, did laundry, got the boys in bed early and watched TV w/ my sweetheart. We even did all our crunches together. It was really funny! LOL!
There is a brief update on what I have been up to. Going to add some gratitude and hit the sack. Got another busy day tomorrow. Good night.

So grateful for...

* Saturday night service at Grace. I don't feel rushed and I am really able to soak in all that God has for me.
* Fun times at the Red Robin with special friends.
* Sleeping in (even if it only 9am, that is late for me)
* Family time
* My mom seeing some movement and light!
* My hubby and boys
* Morning talks with Brandi and afternoon talks with Candy..(why do all my friends names in in i or y) LOL!
* Crock pot liners....they make clean up a breeze!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Prayer Request

Please pray for my mom. She will be having another eye surgery today at 1pm. The surgery should last around 2 hours. They are not optimistic that she is going to receive the vision back in the eye but the surgery is to relieve some pressure and drain more fluid...... THANK YOU!!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Feeling Grateful this morning....

Woke up feeling very grateful today....
So grateful for...
* God he is my Rock!
* My home nice and warm on this cold day.
* My wonderful husband that works so hard to provide for our family.
* My two boys....the light up my life.
* Food-So glad we have it-there are many that do not.
* My van-that even though it acted really crazy and the doors would not unlock last night (and the van was running).
*God's protection-Even though my van was locked, running, and made me extremely late for Chic Affairs event. I agree with Tommy, just maybe God was protecting me from something bad on the way! You never know!
* For Brandi for being so understanding last night when I was so late!
*Warm Soup last night w/ Brandi.
* That my favorite show LOST is back on! YAHOO!!!!
*That Bleeze sleep good last night!
* The beautiful sunshine that is shining today!
* My warm cup of coffee I just finished drinking!
* The opportunity/privilege to homeschool my sweet boys!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My thoughts on yesterday......

Yesterday was such day! I woke up with a to-do list a mile long. One of the items on the list was to watch the Inauguration events with Eli as a homeschool project. Now for those of you who are faithful blog followers you know that I was not an Obama fan. I was a huge McCain/Palin fan and I wrote many, many blogs showing my support and why I felt McCain should be President vs. Obama. I was very sad the night of Election Day. I even posted a blog about how I almost became very fearful but I was at peace after turning to God and His word.

In the weeks that have passed since election day I have come to peace with Obama being president. Not that I am now and Obama fan or still would not rather have John McCain as president. I have come to peace knowing that God is in control and that he is taking care of everything. I have realized that my job now as a believer is to lift him in prayer and trust that God is going to do His work through Obama just has he always has through kings and rulers.

So yesterday was the BIG day. As we started watching the Pre-Inauguration events many times I was brought to tears. To quote US Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Souh Carolina) from yesterday, "If you are not proud to be American, something is wrong with you." I could not agree more! I was proud as I could be to be an American. As I heard the countless stories of people sharing what it meant for them as African Americans to see an African American president be sworn in it touched my heart. I, being from the deep south completely understand every word people were saying. Seeing, Republican African-American news corespondents break out into tears at just the thought of what had taken was amazing.

I heard a story of a 70 year Caucasian lady who traveled to DC to witness the Inauguration. She told a story of she grew up in NC and she was a young girl she and a African -American girl became friends. They were not allowed to go to school together and where talked about all through high school because they were friends outside of school. She stated that they remained friends through "thick and thin". She was attending the Inauguration in memory of her precious friend who had past away several years ago. She admitted that she did not vote for Obama, however she was very proud of how far America had come and she was there for her friend. How precious is that!

From the time the Inauguration started I was moved to tears. I cried watching all the former Presidents come in for some reason. Seeing each one of them brought back memories for me. For example, when I was a little girl I could not stand Jimmy Carter. It seemed like he interrupted TV often. I would get so angry! My mom laughs to this day because she says I would say, "I don't like Jimmy Quarter". Then there is Ronald Reagan who was not there of course....but I always like him....I can still remember like yesterday when he was shot. I remember learning, "Just say No" and all the talk of "Star Wars" (now as an adult, I think this should have been implemented..LOL) . Now the "first George Bush" (that is what I call him) I remember he is the first President I ever voted for! What a freedom to feel, even at 18 years old. Then there is good old Bill Clinton. I did not like him when he was President. I still don't agree with everything with him. However, I am not so conservative that I do not see good things he did for our country especially when it came to foreign policy. Sometimes I can't help but like guy! Now for my favorite the "2nd George Bush" (that is what I call him) I simply loved him. From the first time I heard him speak. I adored him. Now I know some of you do not agree but I don't care. I DO not agree with everything that he did during his presidency but I do stand by him. I feel like he made some choices base on information that he was given. He is human and he is going to make mistakes. I was furious when I heard the of the people "booing" when they announced his entrance. THAT IS JUST RUDE! Even if you did not agree with him, that was not the time or the place. He has kept each of us safe for the past 8 years and made decisions good and bad such as all the other presidents. He has served our country and for that he deserves respect! I did not boo when Obama came out. I caught myself smiling and feeling proud to know that the first African American president was about to be sworn in. Feeling proud for every African American I have ever known. Knowing that our country is free from the bondage of slavery and that Obama is proof that we do live in the greatest country ever. A country where there is a peaceful transfer of power, a country where you can achieve anything when you work for it! A country where we had the freedom to go and vote for our President and he will run the country and not some extreme political or terrorist groups such in other countries.

Now to the actual Inauguration. I cried a river. You would have thought Obama was my brother or something. LOL! Eli actually laughed at me. I guess the tears really started moving when pastor Rick Warren prayed. He ROCKS! I love him and I appreciate all that he stands for. He moved me, his prayers was awesome. The entire ceremony was beautiful and I was proud as I watched.

Then there was the saying good-bye to the Bush family. That of course moved me. To see the two men/women with such heart felt warm good-byes was awesome! I just wanted to jump in my TV and give George Bush a big hug! I think all these people who are questioning him and what his legacy will be. They will be surprised. Just as I have been able in the short amount of years to look back and see the good that Bill Clinton did during his presidency they will be able to see it about George Bush. I mean when Bill Clinton left office I just thought he was a "dirt old president" (being honest) I for one am grateful to George Bush and I can already see the awesome things he did for our country. Just as Bill Clinton and made mistakes so did George Bush. However, I am grateful to both for serving our country. I couldn't and wouldn't want to be President of the United States.

(Okay... so now I am watching The National Prayer Service) crying again. LOL!

So after the big events I tuned in the rest of the day to FOX News as I worked on chic affairs big night tonight at Swoozies! Proud as could be. I was up until 3AM working on a cake watching Inauguration coverage. LOL!

I leave you with the song I am now hearing from The National Prayer Service. Whatever your beliefs are on the election, president, etc. this song will always be the truth each of us should cling too...


Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father; There is no shadow of turning with Thee. Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not; As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see; All I have needed Thy hand hath provided Great is Thy Faithfulness, Lord unto me.

Summer and winter and spring-time and harvest, Sun, moon and stars in their courses above join with all nature in manifold witness. To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide, Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Lazy Days

The past couple of days have been lazy days. Saturday we just stayed around the house. The boys played outside for a bit and I actually got a pretty good workout! Then we went to church Saturday evening. I actually really enjoy Saturday night service. I enjoyed the service as always and really was convicted with entire sermon on wives....(can't wait for next weeks on husbands) LOL! Saturday afternoon I started cooking ribs. They had cooked all day and our house smelled wonderful. (I could still smell them during church)! LOL! After church we came home and enjoyed a yummy dinner. After dinner we watched the movie IRONMAN. I almost did not make it to the end.I was so sleepy!

Yesterday morning Bleeze decided to wake up pretty early. He and I just hung out and played, watched TV, and snuggled. It was fun. Then I decided to check my email. He was playing with his little kitchen set (he plays at it all the time) I was just checking all my pages and I hear him say, "Could you please hand me the extra virginal olive oil" LOL!!!!!! I guess we watch a lot of FoodNetwork around here. LOL! We hung out here around the house all day. Tommy and I had lots of good discussion all day yesterday. Praying and seeking God for what he has for our future. Praying for lots of wisdom and clarity! Last night enjoyed my cake shows on FoodNetwork and Desperate Housewives while working out and then I was off to bed!

Today is Monday and new week. I have a kinda busy week ahead of me. Chicaffair is doing a bridal show at Swoozie's on Wednesday night! Anyone getting married or who wants to just check us out come out to Swoozie's on Wednesday between 6-8pm. Okay, so for now I am off! I have lots of errands to run today and things to do. Hopefully we are going to get some snow in the morning. Hope everyone's week ROCKS!!!

Friday, January 16, 2009


I am so thankful that today is Friday. We have had a couple of good days. We have spent them mostly homeschooling and playing. I have been doing some work on several projects I have going right now.

I have a couple of Bleeze funnies to share again tonight. Wednesday night after dinner Bleeze asked could we have fish on Thursday night. He loves baked Tilapia. I told that we would because we actually had some. He said, "Oh good, I love fish, it is so yummy, it has chicken in it" LOL! Today we went and hung out with Candy and her kiddos. Bleeze was so excited to see Gracie and Hannah. Really both boys were. Eli was up and started on his school work at like 7am. LOL! Before we left, Bleeze said, "Oh Mommy, do you think Gracie still has her "wose petal college" (rose petal cottage)" I assured him that I thought she still did. He was so excited to play in it. Tonight he was playing (as always) he talks non-stop with imaginary friends or real friends who are not really there. He turned and looked into thin air and said, "Gracie, you are my bery best fwiend, I love playing in your wose petal college" Then he looked to the other side, and said "Anna, you are my bery best fwiend, I love playing your wose petal college and play house" LOL!!!! He was playing with both of his buddies and they were not even there!

Today I had fun hanging out with Candy. It was like the good old days! Then tonight we stayed home. It is too cold to do anything. I made goulash for dinner, the boys played Wii while I worked out, and they actually both went to bed pretty early. I spent some of the night listing on ebay. (my junk is another person's treasure).

So here is an update and now I am off to catch some zzzz's. Going to go work on a cake in the morning with Brandi. I am really hoping Jon is feeling better! Poor guy, he's been sick all week.

So for now....happy weekend everyone!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Past couple of days...w/ some gratitude...

The past couple of days have been good. I can really tell that is a full moon. The boys are wired and neither have been sleeping well. This always happens during the full moon. I sometimes do not even have to look to see if it is full, I can just tell. They are hyper, whiny, and restless. I used to see the same behaviors from kids when I did the after school program at The Zone also. Crazy but true.

Sunday we slept late. That is the good thing about attending Saturday evening service. Then we had lunch at Firehouse Subs ( I actually really liked it. I normally am not a big sub fan) Then we all went to Walmart. This is NOT my favorite thing to do as a family. LOL! Between the boys asking for things, getting tired, and Tommy reading and measuring everything in order to find the BEST deals. It takes forever to get in and out of there. I was ready to scream by the time we got out of there.

Sunday night we just hung out here at home. Tommy went to he gym and I played with the boys. We had a nice time. Saturday night I had a ton on my mind and could not sleep so I got up and wrote the longest blog known to man (just joking) but hey, it very well could be. LOL! A HUGE thanks to all of you who took the time to read it. I really appreciate you reading my small novel., reading my heart. I know there were tons of grammar and wording errors but it was the middle of the night. I felt like the energizer bunny. I just kept going, and going, and going. I really appreciated all the words of encouragement and comments!

So Sunday night I stayed up really hanging out with the hubby and then I got that sick icky feeling that you get when you haven't had sleep. So, I took a Unisom at 1am. It worked like a charm. I slept through the alarm, phone calls and everything. The boys and I slept until 10:40. I don't think I have slept that late in about 3 years since Tommy and I were in Vegas. Other than the time in Vegas I was teenager. LOL! Thank God I homeschool. So, my sleeping in really screwed with our day. We were all of schedule (not a good thing for me). I had to homeschool afternoon. That's okay though, we got it done and that is all that counts. I made my three sweet guys a chicken casserole and then I headed out to dinner with Candy. I was so glad she wanted to get together. We had an awesome time, conversation, at Panera. But the highlight was our wonderful experience at the Waffle House (AWFUL WAFFLE) LOL!!!! We had coffee and pie w/ more great conversation. I have missed her SO much. I am glad that God restores and makes things new. We had hit a rough spot but like she said, it only makes us stronger. Thank God those days are behind us and the future is ahead of us. Remember we are always "sisters at heart" hehe..... Love you Candy! I promise I will be there at the nursing home and Bilo. We will buy all or favorite together. LOL! (However, I thought today,I hope you are with me when I am on my death bed because I don't want to ever have to experience loosing you again) I love you!!!

Okay... moving on, Today has been very productive. Took some time to check out some cakes for chicaffair. I just love mine and Brandi's morning chats! So much fun! I think we looked at a zillion cakes over the phone this morning. Can't wait for this weekend girlie!!! Check out our updated web site Brandi did an awesome job! We will be out at Switcharoos next month. Come check us out!!!

We homeschooled, I cleaned the house, managed to make an awesome chicken chili recipe that BOTH my boys loved. MIRACLE!!!! Both of them ate 2 bowls each. I was amazed! The after baths it was American Idol time. I got a good workout in during that and then got the boys settled in bed. I had to eat a snack tonight. I have been doing so good but I have a migraine coming on. I can feel it. My vision was blurry earlier today (that's the way it always starts) The longer the day has gotten the worse it has gotten. I took my meds and now I am going to hit the sack. I have to take my mom to the doctor in the morning. So for now... I am going to show my gratitude and hit the sack before this headache make me sick....nightie, night!

So grateful for...
* Sunday afternoon lunches with my guys (Tommy, Eli, and Bleeze)
(coupon we had too for Firehouse...we all 4 ate for 7.49)

* The groceries we lucky to be able to buy what we need when when we need it. Despite a crazy trip to Walmart.

* Unisom.....ahhhhhhhhh SLEEP!

* Sleeping late....such a blessing!

* The opportunity to homeschool my children. It is such a blessing to watch them grow!

* friendship/sisterhood....Candy, you know what I'm talking about.

* morning chats with Brandi...she always make me smile!

* my clean house

* the laughter I heard from Eli tonight while watching American Idol
(especially when the guy's nickname/tattoo was "sexual chocolate" or something like that... he was laughing hysterically)

* Pain Relievers........ahhhhhhhhh

* and last but NOT least...God's love and grace for me!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Some of my thoughts...kinda long...WARNING..may ruffle some feathers...

Eternal security, loss of salvation, once saved always saved, saved, fallen from grace, back slide, back slidden. These are all terms I grew up hearing and still hear theological debates over. I am going to define these the way I was taught them growing up. (not that I agree with them,I think you will understand me more, the more you read)

Eternal Security- Eternally safe with God. There is nothing you can do once you are saved to change that and you will live forever eternally with God. (Okay, that kinda sounds like what his word says to me but we will go on here)

Loss of Salvation- Somewhere along the way you fell out of fellowship with God and you are no longer "saved" Hugh????

Once saved always saved- You are saved no matter what. You can do whatever you want and still go to heaven.(I think someone made this up to bash the good old baptist..LOL)

Saved- Forgiven of your sins by God's grace through the blood of his son Jesus. Which can also be referred to as "born again" (being born again into the kingdom of God) I believe it all the way!!!!

fallen from grace- no longer a Christian (Okay what is Grace? I think it is defined as unmerited favor. Let me see...the Christian Theology definition in the dictionary defines it as "the free and unmerited favor or beneficence of God; "God's grace is manifested in the salvation of sinners"; Okay now we have that...what is the definition of unmerited...the dictionary defines it as not merited or deserved and then favor is defined as an act of gracious kindness. Therefore in my opinion this phrase does not make sense in the way "Religious" people use it! How can you fall away from something that is free, not deserved, and given to you as an act of gracious kindness even though you are so undeserving!!!!!!

backslide-WHAT? I will be honest, I have NEVER understood this reference to people who once were following Christ but now are not. To be honest as I child I heard it often. "Pray for "Susie" she is going to backslide if she doesn't change the way she is living" HUGH??? When I was a little girl I had two sweet friends, Jennifer and Shannon. We would slide down the slide on our backs on the swing set and say that we "backslid" LOL!!!! We would just giggle and laugh. I still find it funny to be honest.

backslidden- I guess the is reference to someone who has slid down the slide on their back..LOL! No just kidding. It is often used to reference someone who other believers feel have fallen away from God and is no longer living for him.

Okay so now that I have given you a vocabulary lesson for today I will share what is on my heart. I was raised to love God and serve him in all I do in a very Pentecostal, legalistic, conservative way. I have to admit that I have always thought a little more out of the box than most. Not to pat myself on the back. This can be a good thing and sometimes it can be a bad thing. Normally, those who think differently or act differently can often become outcast. Growing up in the Pentecostal church makes for a very exciting environment. (I will be honest, I have been up since 3:30 AM with so much weighing heavy on my mind I am now struggling with how I want to word this without offending people but speaking my heart and truth in love. I do not mean this blog to bash Pentecostals directly. This blog can apply to anyone who allows things to hinder their walk with God no matter their denominational background. I am only sharing my experiences and beliefs) that I have that out of that way, I will move on. By legalistic, I mean that when I was really young, the women wore no makeup, pants, jewelry, etc. These were wrong and a sin. (I know CRAZY) . Many of these rules were just plain ridiculous. They are man- made rules that have nothing to do with the Bible let alone God. I could list dozens of them but these are just a few examples. I can remember the first time my mother bought foundation makeup. She carried it in her purse for weeks. I actually remember when my parents bought new wedding bands because they has stopped wearing them because of "religious convictions" (religious peoples convictions). I remember not be allowed to wear pants and then we moved to Ohio where it was freezing cold and for some reason it was not longer a "sin" to wear them and I could. WHAT??? I also remember in 3rd grade we were going on an outdoor field trip and my parents bought me shorts to wear because it as really hot. I remember thinking..."why was it a sin yesterday but not today?" I actually said that to my parents and then they allowed me to start wearing shorts. WHAT???? Jewelry... I never understood this one. The scripture I was quoted most was referring to women enticing their husbands with adornment instead of their inward spirit ... it had NOTHING to do with wearing it from day to day. I remember when I got my ears pierced. It was a HUGE deal. I got to get them pierced because I said to my parents, "If God is going to send me to hell for wearing earrings, he is not the God I think he is" (See I have always thought a little out of the box...even at 9 years old) I did not go to a movie theater until I was 18 years old. And then I caught myself praying that the rapture did not take place or I that I would die because I was certain I was going to burn in hell for all eternity even if I was seeing just The Adams Family. LOL!

For a long time I was glad I grew up with a ton of the "fear of the Lord" then I as I got older and began to search the scripture and pray and I discovered that "the fear of the Lord" that I was taught to have was not really what God intended. The "fear of the Lord" is the reverence of the Lord and who is. What I was experiencing was bondage. I was not understanding fully who I was in Christ, I did not understand that there is a certain freedom that comes with knowing Christ and receiving his unmerited favor "grace" in my life.

For years I was in a constant state of fear that I was going to go to hell. I was constantly looking for those outward sins. I could not commit any! I had to live "sin free" I was taught that I could live sin free. Do I believe this? NO, I do not. If I could live sin free, then there would be no reason for me to have an advocate with the Father through Jesus Christ. I remember once when I was in high school ( I am being very transparent in this blog, I have NEVER told anyone this in my life but this proves my point) I had always tried to live a good, holy life. I was known for being a Christian. I used to drive my sweet friend Lori insane because I was such a "goodie, goodie" I can honestly say that I did it out of love for God. I wasn't trying to be something I wasn't. I did love God. I just did not understand how much he loved me. So anyway back to high school, I was sitting in class and I was chewing gum (which I knew was wrong, but nevertheless I was chewing it) I had been caught with a few days before and got detention for it (that and being tardy were the only two things I ever got in trouble for) So the teacher sees me with the gum and she ask me if I had gum in my mouth. I do not know what came over me but I looked her dead in the eye and lied. I told her no and then swallowed the gum. The guilt that came over me was unreal. I think it was the first time I knowingly lied. I went home early that day feeling sick. I stayed up all night praying, crying, and begging God to forgive me. I was in torment. I was unsure for days if God had heard me. I finally prayed and said, "please God give me peace that you have forgiven me and that I will not go to hell." I did receive a peace and felt better but it took days. I prayed that I would not die and that the rapture would not take place. I was SO fearful!

I told you that story to share this. I tried all those years to live "sin free"while the entire time my heart and life was FULL of sin. I was so blinded by "religious, denominational garbage" that I could not see the truth. I was focused on those outward sins and not the inward sins that no one sees. (well, God sees them) When God sees them he sees them no differently. Sin is sin! I remember when I came to the realization. I had heard this for years from my husband. He grew up differently than I did and he was always sharing things with me about my life. I did not agree with him and it made for many arguments.

I want to share with you when I came to this realization of how unworthy I truly am. I remember it like it was yesterday. A few years ago we had changed everything in our lives (God did this on purpose so that we could grow and do what he has called us to do) but anyway, we were in a new house, new area, had a new baby, new church,new denomination, everything was new! I joined a ladies Bible study at our new church. I went to the Bible study alone not knowing ANYONE! We split off into small groups and made a circle for our time of sharing. We shared the word, scriptures, praise reports, prayer request, etc. It was typical and I was enjoying it. Then at the close of the time together our group leader said, "I would like for us to go around the circle and tell a sin that we have dealt with this week that we would like for the group to prayer over and hold each other accountable for" I thought WHAT??????? They are going to tell their sin???? I thanking God that I was the last one to go so that I could hear what others had to say, I was thinking surely not everyone has sinned this week. ( I was waiting to hear things like I cheated on my husband, I stole something at Walmart, I lied, I got drunk and did something immoral, I have been gambling our savings away, etc. ) Then one by one the ladies shared their sin. As I sat there listening to the ladies sharing their sins, my heart began to pound. I recognized so many of their sins from my own life. As I heard many of them break and cry and accept the fact that they were fallen sinners saved by grace I began to crumble under the weight of conviction. I had so much sin in my life. I had always know that I was so undeserving of his love, mercy, and grace and I thought I had come humbly before him, but I truly had not. I began to see all the sin in my life such as fear, doubt, lack of being a good steward with my time and gifts, not being a submissive wife for years as my husband tried to take his God given, ordained role as the leader of our home, and all the times I had fought my husband on issues concerning God, church, our family in every way including shaming him and discrediting who HE was in Christ, for thinking I was "wise in my own eyes", for being self-righteous, selfish, and jealous, having bitterness in my heart towards family for hurting me,former church members for hurting my family, for someone who I looked to as one of my biggest mentors lying about me and spreading untruths about me. As I sat there listening to those ladies I began to weep. By the time it was my turn I could not speak. I just sat there and cried. I finally looked up and said, "I am a mess, my heart is full of sin". I will be honest, I think I expected to be judged but instead, they received me in love and explained to me that they were all full of sin too. We all prayed together and I walked away with a different peace in my life than I had ever had before. I walked away understanding the entire story God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit all of it for the first time in my entire life. I had grown up in a pastors home, never missed a church service hardly in my life, I went to a Christian College... for God's sake! I went through the ministerial program in the Church of God and was a licensed minister. I had been a children's pastor for 12 years!!!!!!!!! But that day it was so clear to me who I was in Christ and who He is. Many things are still being revealed to me each and everyday. I pray for clarity, wisdom, strength, and courage. I do not want to every be so "wise in my own eyes" that I can't see through God's eyes. To see what he wants me to see and be what he wants me to be.

I think to have a true relationship with Christ you have to know who you are in Christ and what he wants for you. Now you may ask yourself what the beginning of this blog with all the "religious lingo" has to do with my story about my "seeing the light". Lately it seems that we have been hearing a lot of talk about grace, God's grace, etc. I can truly say that I do not know how deep or far God's grace goes. The Bible says that his Grace is sufficient. It seems that Tommy and I are constantly thrown into conversations of eternal security, etc. with other people. Mostly people question Tommy on Baptist theology because they do not understand it. There is one thing I wish people would understand, if they do not understand a particular denomination, church,pastor, etc. Do not say anything about them. Don't spread idle gossip or information that you are unsure of about anyone or any group of people. All of my life I was told, baptist believe that once you get "saved" you can do anything you want to, you can live anyway you want to, it does not matter. I have not met one truly saved baptist that believes that. Just because you may have heard someone say that they believe that way, and they attend a baptist church does not mean ALL BAPTIST believe that way. I have heard of Church of God people saying that they handle snakes and I know for a fact that they do not handle snakes! I can remember hearing that and it making me so angry. Think of how the baptist feel when they hear that people insult their walk with the Lord. So there, not everything you hear is true. You should search and find out information before you speak it.

That brings me to another point. Preacher bashing. OH MY! That makes me furious. I tell you,it seems like I can't get around a group of certain pastors without hearing, who did this, who did that, who's doing who, where they are moving, why they are moving, etc. It makes me sick. This pastor bashing this pastor up the road for their church, talking about how they do church. Tommy and I were put into a position not too long ago where we hurt by individuals in ministry and it was easy to say mean, idle words about them. I mean how dare they hurt us and our friends! We were doing the Lords work!!! However, we both decided that now matter how ugly they had been to us or our friend we were not going to say anything else negative about this person because it just puts sin in our lives and nothing good comes from it. We also decided that anytime we hear another pastor talking about or bashing another pastor or church that it discredits them in our eyes and their integrity. Recently, I was placed in a position to be with a pastor that I had often thought a lot of. When I came in contact with him, he was "doing the Lord's work" I had always respected him and his walk with the Lord. In the discussion he was having with some fellow pastors another pastors name came up. He said,"He crazy" Now I happen to know this pastor pretty well and when I looked up at him I think he realized and his tone changed and he said, "Well, know, I like him and all but he is WAY OUT THERE IN LEFT FIELD somewhere". Well, you know what he is! He is doing church in a brand new way. He is doing church in a non-traditional way and I admire this effort! Just because he is doing it different does not mean it is wrong or crazy. If you think about it, Jesus had what we may think of as "crazy" ways of reaching people, I mean think about it, a whale swallowed a man, he locked lions jaws, he spoke through a jack ass, he spoke through a burning bush, he allowed animals to file in a boat two by two, he parted the sea and they walked through on dry land, men danced in a burning fire and when the came out they did not even smell like smoke, he gave a 80 year old woman children, he stopped time...need I go on????

I simply looked up at this pastor and said, "Well, someone has to go out there in left field and tell those people about Christ" then I walked away. UGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! That pastor lost every bit of respect I had for him. He was gossiping about his fellow brother in Christ instead of uplifting him and being an encouragement.

Now back to the original point (if there is one.. this may just be a good old venting session LOL). I recently was also in the company of an almost 80 year old man with horrible health. He has been in ministry for almost all his life. He has preached the gospel around the world. He is an awesome man of God. He heard some conversations concerning eternal security etc. and he had some things to share too. He humbly stated that in the end God would have the last say around the great white throne of judgement. However, he said that he had several near death experiences in his life time and that with his health issues and some suffering he had his wife had told him on several occasions that it was okay for him to die. If he felt like the Lord wanted to take him to go ahead go home to heaven. However, he said he was afraid to go. He said, "What if I haven't done enough. What if my best was not good enough? I want to hear him say "well done my good and faithful servant" " My heart broke. When I got in the van with Tommy I was brought to tears. I thought, he is 80 years old and does not understand who he is in Christ. He doesn't understand that there is nothing he can do to make God love him more and there is nothing he can do to make God love him less. Tommy did say that he thought he was just being humble, I understand that but at the same time I could hear the uncertainty in his voice. Just knowing that he has given his life for the service of Christ and still being unsure of what the end will bring saddens me.

Now you are probably asking yourself does she or does she not believe in eternal security? Well, I am going to be honest here. I am not God. I don't claim to know everything. I can honestly say that I am not so naive that I think everything I believe is true because I am smart enough to realize that I some of it is probably wrong. Only God knows everything. He sees the beginning, middle, and end all at the same time. His ways are wiser and higher. You can bring Scriptures at me from every angle that you can't loose salvation that you can loose salvation. I have heard them all. I do however think that many of them are miss quoted and taken out of the original context of the scriptures. Many times people manipulate and use scriptures for their advantage. I know that I believe that you can't loose your salvation at the drop of a hat, that everyone has sin in their life and if that is the case then none of us are going to heaven, I do believe that God knows I am going to fall. He knows this, because I am human and He created me. I was born into sin and I have a sinful nature. I believe that many times we put ourselves above sinning and almost make ourselves equal with God instead of accepting that we are weak, fallen sinners that could never make it without the grace of God. I believe that I should follow the two commandments of the New Testament "to love the Lord with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself." Matthew 22:37-39 If I do these two things everything else is going to fall into place. If a I "seek his kingdom first" Matthew 6:33 then I am on the right track.

In concluding this VERY long blog I would like to share a story that recently happend to me. My ladies Bible study is doing The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace. This study has been awesome for my marriage but it also has been instrumental in the way I look at other people, relationships, and God. I was recently reading from this book while sitting with my mother while she was in the hospital. I was reading about loving your husband despite his sin. The scripture was used concerning that "love covers a multitude of sin" To be exact...this is what the scripture says " Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins (forgives and disregards the offenses of others") I Peter 4:8. Earlier in the week I had heard my cousin and Tommy go back and forth on different theological explanations and beliefs of God, his grace, etc. I had been thinking about everthing that was said back and forth between the two indviduals, when I read that scripture it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Love covers a multitude of sins" What is love? God is love. ahhhhh....... If God commands me to love others through their sin then why would he not love me through mine. In fact, He says love covers my sin. His love is the greatest.

I think the first step that we should take towards these meaningless theological discussions on eternal security is to examine our own lives. Last night at the end of the message at our church Matt shared I Timothy 1:15 which says this "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst." Paul had written this scripture after coming to know Christ and yet admits that he is a sinner (in fact he goes so far to admit one of the worst) So I guess in answering the question as to what I personally believe? I believe this..... I believe that yes, if you have accepted Christ and are following him that you are eternally safe. If you notice I said, following him. There are a lot of people who believe but do not follow. I think you must be making every attempt to live a life that is please to God. To give it your all. To ask God to reveal your sin to you so that you may ask forgiveness and take advantage of that advocate that you have with the Father. God desires a relationship with you. I do not think you can just live anyway and pleasing to God. The bottom line is that I Samuel 16:7 says the "But the Lord said to Samuel, Look not on his appearance or at the height of his stature, for I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." Only God knows our hearts and as the older pastor said God and only God will have the final say. I just know that now that I have freedom of living in Christ, accepting that I am a sinner saved by Grace, knowing that really I think God expects for me to screw up sometimes. He doesn't have high expectations of me because I am just a fallen human. He desires me to want to have high expectations of myself and value my relationship with him to work at it and make it all that it can be. (just like any other relationship in life). I can live basking in his love and promises without feeling fear or doubt in knowing who I am in him. I feel refreshed knowing that God has given me a husband and group of friends that I can be transparent with. That I can admit my short comings, failures, SINS too. That I can know that they will not look on me in judgement but in support and lift me up in prayer and encouragement. To know that they are not blinded by religious denominational garbage and realize that we all have sin in our lives. I leave you with the words to one of the songs we sing at Grace often. It always feels my soul with joy and gladness to know that I live in the everlasting Grace of God. To know and understand that he gave his only son for me so that I can have that everlasting life. Please take time to read the words to this song and think about them. Also, thanks for reading this extremely LONG blog. LOL! Boy I feel better!!!!!!

Wonderful grace of Jesus, greater than all my sin;How shall my tongue describe it, where shall its praise begin?Taking away my burden, setting my spirit free,For the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me!
Wonderful grace of Jesus, reaching to all the lost,By it I have been pardoned, saved to the uttermost;Chains have been torn asunder, giving me liberty,For the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me!
Wonderful grace of Jesus, reaching the most defiled,By its transforming power, making him God’s dear child.Purchasing peace and heaven for all eternity;And the wonderful grace of Jesus reaches me!

Wonderful the matchless grace of Jesus,Deeper than the mighty rolling sea;Higher than the mountain, sparkling like a fountain,All-sufficient grace for even me;Broader than the scope of my transgressions,Greater far than all my sin and shame;O magnify the precious name of Jesus, praise His name!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

getting back into the blogging routine & showing my gratitude

So, I am really trying to get back into my routine of blogging as well as showing my gratitude. So here is to new beginnings.....

Today has been good. We slept in this morning and then I made muffins for the boys. I was so tempted to eat one but I resisted temptation. THANK GOD! I got a good work out in this afternoon too. Bleeze and I made homemade pizza for lunch today. They love it! ( I also resisted that) GO ME! The boys played outside a bit and then we got ready and went to church tonight. It was awesome as always and then we went out to dinner tonight.

Now, I am chillin like a villain...LOL waiting on Tommy to get home from the gym. I have some funnies to share about Bleeze. He has been such a hoot this week. He is into literally everything! He has a HUGE imagination and he always making up stories and talking to imaginary friends. He makes us laugh all the time. Here is just a few of his funnies from this week.....

* I got in the shower one day this week and he comes into the bathroom and says. "I have Daddy's wallet" I told him to put it away and do not touch it again. So several hours later he comes to me and says "I hid Daddy's money" I said, "What?" He said "I hid Daddy's money from his wallet" I tell him to take me to it. He has stuffed it into a gift box and put it under his baseball bean bag. Oh LORD!!!! He always tells on himself which I guess is a good thing! LOL!

*He has really been concerned about my mom and the fact that she has been so sick. So every night he has been praying that God would touch her "eyebetes" (diabetes) LOL!!! He is so confused because her eye is infected.

* He is praying this week at bedtime and this is his prayer. "God touch Eli help him not to be a brat" He turns and looks at Eli and says, "because you are a brat sometimes Eli" continues praying for family, friends, etc. LOL!!!

* He always asked for Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal. I don't buy it for them because number one they do not need the sugar and number two I did give in and buy it one other time and they did not eat it. So he ask all the time. This morning the commercial comes on and Bleeze looks at me and I kid you not, this is exactly what he says. " My other family I lived with before I lived with you bought me Cinnamon Toast Crunch and I loved it" I said, "Oh really, the other family you lived with?" He said, "Yes the other family I lived with when I was a little boy" I said, "What is there names and what are you now, are you not a little boy?" He said, "I can't remember their, I am a pre-teen now (that is what Eli says all the time).....Oh....yes I remember... one's is smiley...they are twins there...smiley and smiley" WHAT???? Where does he get this stuff from??????

* He also informed me today that he has two sisters. One named Amy and one named Emily. Amy lives in a green house and Emily lives in a condo house (that it is what he called our condo at the beach ( a condo house). LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

* So today I made homemade pizza with him. He was such a hoot! He loved every minute of it. When were stretching out the dough he said."Mommy, we are chef's" I said "yes we are" he said "we can be on Food Network" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay... I will stop with the Bleeze stories now. Eli is doing awesome too. Just be a "pre-teen" bahahahaha! (So he thinks) Lord have mercy on me!

Going to show my gratitude and say good night.

*Grateful for lazy Saturday mornings.
* Grateful for my funny Bleeze and pre-teen Eli.
* Grateful for my sweet hubby that has been showering me with kisses lately. (I know you all wanted to know that) LOL!
* Grateful for my church and what God reveals to me each week!
* Fun family time and dinner together.
* warm feet are freezing tonight...


I have been such a slacker....

I have been such a slacker the past week about blogging. I did blog the one update on my mom but that was it! I have been preoccupied with all kinds of things this week. I seem to have a lot of nothing going on. If that sentence makes any sense at all.

UPDATE on my mom....
She went back to the doctor on Friday. Her eye was the same but they decided NOT to do surgery yet. THANK GOD! They thought they could see some type of fungus growing in her eye so they gave her an anti-fungal medication and she has to go back on Monday. She called this morning was AWESOME news her blood sugar was 104! Praise God! She did take a walk yesterday and went out to lunch with my Dad after her doctor's appointment. So I am so thankful for that. God is good and he taking care of her and working in her favor.

Let's see, this week has been kinda crazy. Since my last blog we had a great dinner with Tim and Kim. That was fun! I am glad you guys visited Grace with us! I have been homeschooling and getting back in the groove of that. Eli seems to be glad to be back schooling. My kids are cursed with their obsessive compulsive mother and they are picking up some of my habits.Scheduling for example. They love having a schedule and being structured. Last Sunday Eli made the comment that he was ready to get back to a schedule. LOL!

Business is always a little slow in January,especially this particular week ,because people are recovering from the holidays. Tommy has been home a lot more so that has been nice. We have had fun all of us together. The Wii games and Guitar Hero make for some fun family time (and competition) LOL!

I was so glad to be back at Bible study this week. I missed those ladies and the fellowship we have. I look forward to the weeks to come and growing more in Christ.

I have so much going on in my head right now. So many blogs brewing!! LOL! I have every area of my life brewing a particular blog . I have been tired from just thinking so much. LOL!

I will say this, I am sick and tired of the media harping on the economy. Sometimes I think the downfall of the economy is being media driven. If people would stop pushing the issue and forcing everyone to have a negative attitude towards the economy things could possibly improve. A lot of the issues stem from speculation and I for one am sick of it! Okay... off that soap box (for now)!

The past 6 months Tommy and I have really been paying more attention to our diets and exercise. I am always looking for low-fat/fat free/low calorie recipes. I have found a lot that have actually been pretty tasty. So, last night I decided to try a new one. I for one hate meatloaf. I really don't like it normally. I can eat it but I have to choke it down most of the time. So last night I decided to make a low fat turkey meatloaf. It smelled okay and the outside looked okay. BUT OMG! It was horrible. I referred to it as puke on a plate. It was terrible. I did not even make the boys taste it. Actually, Eli did, he tried to be nice.LOL! So I apologized a thousand times to my family. It was horrid.

Well, I guess this is enough for now. I am going to run spend some time with my two precious boys. Tommy should be home from working in a bit. I think we are going to attend Saturday service at church again this week. I hope everyone has a great day and weekend.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Update on my Mom

I have so many people asking about my mom I thought I would do a blog update. She went to the family doctor yesterday. They gave her a higher dose of insulin for the diabetes because her sugar is not coming down like they had planned. Her blood pressure is still elevated so they are still checking into all of that. She has to go back in a few weeks for follow up on both of those cases.

She went back to the eye doctor today. The retina specialist seem to be afraid that her eye is actually worse than earlier in the week. She has to go back on Friday. If her eye is the same or worse they are going to do another surgery. This will be to clean out infection again and clean out the lens of her eye. Needless to say she is NOT happy about this. We are praying and believing that she will not have to have another surgery. However, if God sees fit for her to have the surgery in order to heal properly we know that He is in control and is working in her favor. She still has not regained eyesight in that eye.

She sees the infectious disease doctor next week and we should hopefully find out more about the origination of the infection.

Again, a HUGE thanks to everyone for your prayers, notes, and other forms of concern. We love you all and are so thankful to have you in our lives. I will continue to keep you informed of her progress. Please continue to pray for her!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Got to be grateful

Okay, I have been totally slack in blogging my gratitude. Not that I haven't been grateful just been so swamped and so much going on physically and mentally. Even though I haven't posted my gratitude I have thought about all I am grateful for everyday. THANKS ELLE! You always make me think! You are an angel! I know I will leave some things out, there is SO much for me to be grateful for I can't list it all!

* A wonderful Christmas.

* The many "material" things we were given that we are so undeserving of but yet so blessed to have.

* My wonderful husband. He never stops amazing me. I know some people don't get him, but I totally do and he is wonderful! I appreciate his passion, drive, desires, and his ability to make me see life and God in such an awesome way. He is amazing.

* My two wonderful boys. They are my world. I love them more than the next breath! They are precious and I am so blessed to have been given the opportunity to be there mom.

* Seeing my brother, sisterinlaw, and niece. Makenzie is so precious.
In my previous blog I did not thank Jessica for watching Bleeze that evening. He loved spending time with you! He adores you! Thanks for keeping him for me!

* All our wonderful friends and family that have been so concerned and supportive of our family during our mom's illness!

* God- He is amazing! I am so thankful for his peace that he gives me each and everyday. For being a prayer answering God. For helping me through the toughest times in life. The super-natural faith and peace that only He can give. He is my ROCK and he ROCKS my world everyday!

* The fact that my mom is somewhat better. She could be worse or even dead but because of God and his healing power and grace she is alive. I believe he is going to completely restore her!

I could go on and on but I had to share just a few. Lots of love to all of you good night!

ahhh.... a little back to normal around here...

Today has finally seemed more back to normal. THANK GOD! My mom was discharged from the hospital today. That is AWESOME! She is not well but they can treat her remaining issues from home so at least she is not in the hospital anymore. This week has been so draining for all of us. Continue to pray for her. To be honest, my brother and I both felt that she should stay a few more days. She has not had pain meds since last night so that is awesome!!! I just talked with her on the phone and she said she felt a little better. Not awesome, but a little better. Just pray she can control the diabetes and be serious about the diet.It is going to be a real struggle for her. She is a picky eater and she LOVES sweets and Pepsi. She can have neither now. UGGHH! I think we have a long road ahead of us but I believe with support from family, friends and God almighty she will make it! Other than the diabetes being controlled I am concerned with her vision. I am praying it returns in that left eye with no damage.

Today has been a little more normal. I did manage to get all the Christmas decorations taken down and put away. Tommy and I hung out this afternoon and had some of our "deep" theological discussions. I love those with him. He is awesome! I cooked dinner tonight and even made the boys brownies. Eli and I played Guitar Hero for awhile. He smokes me! LOL! Then I played with Bleeze on his "cool school" computer. He is funny. He always knows how to make me smile. He kept saying, "I have to enter my "user id" LOL!!!!! Hopefully tomorrow we will get back into our schedule and I can start working out again in the morning.

So that is the latest in my life. I am going to go watch a movie with Tommy and then catch some zzz's. Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Our not so Happy New Year

Well, this New Years has been not so happy. We are still praying for my mom. She is still in the hospital and looks like she will be there a least 2-3 more days at the least. To be honest she has not changed much. Her eye is healing well and no longer running fever so that is a good sign that the antibiotics are working. However her blood sugar level is still 246 this evening and her blood pressure is also very high. So we are just praying and believing that everything is going to be okay. We did get some good news today that the cultures that are growing so far have not grown any particular bacteria. We still have to find the cause of the infection though. Please keep her in your prayers.

This entire week has been spent in and out of the hospital. My poor boys have been shuffled here and there but they have been so good and are being such sweet angels. I really appreciate all of those who have helped me with them. Thanks Tony and Tammy you ROCK! You will never know how much it means for you to change work schedules and other plans to help us out this week. Thanks for keeping Eli over night too! Brandi, girl you were my life saver! You are the best!!!! Bleeze had a blast playing with Anna. Mary, thanks for changing New Years plans and dinner plans the past two days to help me out. I love and appreciate you all very much!

Today I did take the boys to visit with mom for just a few minutes. Bleeze was kinda freaked out a bit but he adjusted in a few minutes. She looks really bad and her eye is to be honest just horrible! Eli cried when we left and it was just draining for both of them I think. They did ask to go back though... that is a positive. This afternoon and early evening Mary watched the boys and Tommy and I went to let my Dad come home for a bit. He has refused to leave her side. He also refuses to sleep away from her too! We left at 7:30 and they both were going to bed. So hopefully they will both get some much needed rest tonight.

I took most of our Christmas decorations down tonight. Just got to pack it all up and get the outside in the morning. Tommy and I are trying to work out a schedule so that we can be there for my mom and have the boys taken care of also.

So for now, I am going to go rest. I am SUPER tired. Hope everyone is good and has had a Happy New Years Day!