I have so much brewing in me all the time. I hate to say it but sometimes I don't even post it because I know that it is going to cause chaos. I think that I have been learning some valuable lessons from my dear online friend Elle. I have to stand up for myself, be true to who I am and do what is right for me. So, I may get a little bit out this morning. However there is a lot more to come.
For those of you who do not know, I grew up in a pastor's home. I have always been raised in church. I have been in ministry for almost 15 years now myself. I have had plenty of tremendous ups and tremendous downs. In the past few years I have had a "new experience" with God. I see him differently now than 3 1/2 years ago. He has totally ROCKED my world. I think in the past it has been people and "their" beliefs that rocked my world. You see, I had to get a hold of God for myself. I had to try to figure out what He has for ME! Not a certain group of people, friends, family, or even denomination. For those of you who do not know.... I am denominationed out! SICK OF IT! Too much focus is put on the people and politics of it all and not on God. For those of you trying to change a particular denomination that I used to be a part of . GOOD LUCK! It's not going to happen. Yes, there are a few of you who desire change but I believe that there are far few who do not desire change. Yes, I do believe that God can do ANYTHING. However, you have to have the desire to see God do what you are asking for. I don't know if there are that many who truly desire a change. Or is it that you desire change or you just know that there's got to be something more???
You see, my husband gave me the best analogy of all the other day ( I kinda added my own twist to it also). If you were on a boat full of people, some of them you loved DEARLY. Your best friends, but you felt like the boat was sinking. Then you seen it, start to sink, You would get off. As much as I love some of my dearest family and friends. I would do what I had to do to save my little family. To make sure that my boys and Tommy were safe. To get off that boat and swim to safety.I would HATE to leave my family and friends behind. Don't get me wrong, I would try to help them but if they would not listen and it came down to life or death. I am headed to shore to find safety and security. See, that is where I am right now with my walk with Christ. Finding safety and security. I am on the shore. I no longer have to tread water or struggle to know where I stand with God. However, as look back out into the water, I see tons of people still struggling out in the water, still treading water, many still sitting on the edge of the sinking boat, some of them even drowning. All I can do is pray for them. I am not strong enough myself yet to head back out in that water. I pray that they will swim towards shore. Take their eyes of the boat and turn go to safety. Some of you may say, our denomination or church is strong and powerful. People thought that about the Titanic also! It's not about denomination or church. It's about GOD!!
I have found that God's grace is so much greater than what I was ever taught. For those of you who say that Tommy has brain washed me into believing "once saved always saved". You're crazy because you don't even know what Tommy believes. NOT ONCE SAVED ALWAYS SAVED! I believe it is about a relationship that no one else can mark, they can't put your relationship with God into a certain category! We as individuals mark our relationship with God. We put it into certain categories. We decide what we want our particular walk or belief in God to be. I will be honest, I can honestly say that in years past, I have felt brainwashed into believing a certain way.
I am glad that my eyes have been opened. This eye opening experience was not brought by any particular person, church, or organization but by God Almighty. I called out to him out of "religious frustration". I begin to pray and ask God for clarity 5 years ago. I am still receiving clarity everyday. May I never loose sight of what God is trying to show me!!!! I encourage you today to call out to God. If you are feeling that sense of "religious frustration" make it about YOUR PERSONAL relationship with him. Not others! "seek him first and all his righteousness."
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